Fanfiction Sins: Minecraft
by corgi101
Summary: No fanfiction is without a sin. Uses Minecraft fanfictions for the first book. This is where I critique, heckle, and just plain be an asshole to fanfictions. It's all for humor.
1. Chapter 1

Everything

Wrong

With

The War Of the Night

(Spoilers!)

(Duh)

The Plan (Prologue)

Herobrine, Darkness, and The Lord Squid Shark were all at their meeting place.

**Ok, you couldn't be more bland then that. We know it's their meeting place, you don't need to say 'meeting place'. You could have said HQ or some other synonym for 'Meeting Place. Hell even 'Gathering Place' would be good. (1)**

"Every thing is set, all we need now is the time to strike" said Shark.

"When should we strike?" asked Herobrine.

**That is the worst cliche I have ever seen in my life. (1)**

"What kind of question if that?! We strike at the right time, which is when Sky Army is at its greatest, then we can watch them fall" said Darkness

**Even worse because the author is trying to make Darkness sound like a total bitch. (1)**

"Which is when" asked Shark.

**Herobrine literally just asked that question five seconds ago! (1)**

Darkness smirked and said "You'll know". She conjured a black flame and starred into it. A vision on Sky Army HQ showed. Darkness laughed evilly and casted it at the ground. The vision of Sky Army went from big and powerful, to on fire and destroyed.

**Ok we know you wanna destroy the army, don't need to foreshadow it. Also none of these sentences had punctuation, so I can count each one as a sin. (6)**

The Sign

Sky was with TrueMU and Deadlox doing a epic jump map by Bodil40.

**That is the worst possible sentence I have ever seen. It was the exact same thing as the prologue! (1)**

"I hate this jump!" said Sky. It was ladder parkour. TrueMU was mastering it. Deadlox was hanging off the bottom one over lava.

**Oh please, Jason is the ONLY human here, and yet he is the one mastering this. Shouldn't, I don't know, the werewolf or the vampire be beating him? Strength?Stamina? Agility? All seems fishy to me. (1)**

"Use inner strength!" TrueMU called to Deadlox. Sky made sure no one was looking and he turned into a bat. He flew to the end of the jumps and changed back.

**What an asshole. (1)**

"I did it" he said. TrueMU looked at him in disbelief.

"Yay right" he said laughing.

**That 'yeah' is spelt wrong. (1)**

Deadlox looked at him and said "If he gets to use his powers I can use mine". He changed into beast form and climbed up the ladder. He jumped across the pillars the ladders were on and grabbed TrueMU by the neck.

**Wouldn't that have killed Jason? (1)**

He ran on all fours and jumped to the next jump. Finally they reached the end of the jumps and Deadlox changed back.

**So Ty has control over his transformation now? Later it seems like he's having a shit of a time doing this. (1)**

"I'm so glad I'm friends with a werewolf, I can just ask him to help me cheat threw parkour" said TrueMU. Deadlox cracked up.

**That wasn't even funny and 'cracked up' is just awkward. (2)**

"Every body sleep in the beds! Check point!" said Sky hanging upside down, his arms crossed. Deadlox stretched out in the one next to him, TrueMU set the time and tried to sleep.

**I thought this was a no ship policy. Oh well. #Truelox. (1)**

"I can't sleep, there's mobs near by" he said. Sky laughed and jumped down from the ceiling. He changed into a bat and flew up in the air really far. TrueMU got in bed.

Sky changed back human and fell from the sky. He landed hard on the ground, but his wounds healed quickly. They all fell asleep.

**Bad transition (1)**

When the check point was set in the morning TrueMU and Deadlox got up but Sky didn't.

"Why is he nocturnal? Sky wake up" said TrueMU.

Sky opened his eyes. He jumped down from the ceiling. They continued with the map. Of course Sky cheated threw parts. Finally they reached the end. Deadlox then noticed something. It was a torn piece of paper with familiar hand writing.

Watch your back Sky Army. We're coming, we're RISING

-Darkness, Shark, and Herobrine

Darkness thought Deadlox. He showed it to TrueMU and Sky. They all rushed back to Sky Army base. Sky sent out and urgent message to all Sky Army captains.

**I'll just point out all the sins in this one paragraph. First off, through is spelt wrong, and second, how did Deadlox know what type of writing The Dark Ones had? I mean, werewolves don't have that ability...right? Also that note makes The Dark Ones even more off assholes then they already are, those sentences sounded like something a seven year old would say. Also, bad transition. (3)**

**I'm not even going to continue this fanfiction because of how poorly written it was.**

**Sin Count: 23 (just for the first 2 chapters!)**

**Sentence: Werewolves with hand-writing defining abilities.**

**Want to see other Minecraft fanfictions sinned or even see your own? PM me or review. (NOTE: I will be an asshole, this is all just for humor)**


	2. Chapter 2

Everything

Wrong

With

"Guns and Steel" by CrystalFeather0900

Spoilers!

(duh...)

'My name is Ty.'

**Narration (1)**

There was a clam wind. The moon shone overhead, casting a white glow over the battlefield.

**Ok, so, clams are flying in the wind. We went from a guy named Ty to Spongebob. (1)**

'I was age seventeen when everything changed.'

Blood was smeared the once emerald grass, and painted the trees and flowers red.

'I didn't know the damage I would cause. And I wish I could have stopped myself.'

**I've seen this in every single Enderlox and Werelox story I've read. I'm counting it as a sin since cliche (1)**

Two figures stood stock still in the middle of it. One had a pair of broken sunglasses around his neck, panting as he leaned on his while sword for support. He was in bad shape, cuts and bruises covering his entire body. A few drops of blood hit the ground, turning the snow beneath his feet red.

**Why is while there? And also, if only a few drops of blood hit the ground, wouldn't that mean that only those single spots of snow would turn red? (2)**

'It's too late now though.'

**Adam Gontier: It's not to late! It's never too late! (1)**

The other had four chains in his hands, a smug look on his face. A pair of green headphones rested on his head. He had barely any scratches on him, and looked to be doing just fine.

**How come he ended up so perfectly fine? I know he's some powerful beast of legend, but he's not a healable dragon being. That just makes him feel Mary Sueish and an asshole. Which makes me want to make this guy suffer. (1)**

'It's a long story.

But I think you all have the time to hear it.'

**Actually I have my son's soccer game, my daughter's graduation, and I'm going to a restaurant, but fuck it, I'll read this. (1)**

"Please!" The figure with the white figure shouted, the wind shaking the leaves on the trees. "This isn't you!"

**Yes it is, only I'm more aggressive** **and bloodthirsty. (1)**

The second figure smirked, bringing his arm up and throwing it down again. One of the chains followed the direction of his arm, and it slammed next to the spot where the first figure was standing.

**Why does he have chains if he's just gonna swing them around and not capture that guy? (1)**

'Its time to tell you all what happened.'

"I am just fine!" The second laughed.

**Obviously you aren't since you're muttering your friends. Stop trying to act insane god damn it! (1)**

'This is the story-'

**That '-'trying to build suspense, but** **really it just annoys me. (1)**

"And I would never change!"

**Oh yes you will. (1)**

'Of how I died.

And how he lived.'

**You just ruined the whole story! I thought that guy was gonna die and you live in self-pity with you killing your best friend and living with yourself. (1)**

**Sin Count: 14 (for the preview)**

**Sentence: Blood that can grow.**

**Like Minecraft Sins? Give it a follow and favorite and drop a review! If you'd like to suggest a fanfiction or use your own fanfiction, PM or tell me in the review box!**

**(This is all for humor! Don't take it too seriously!)**


	3. Chapter 3

Everything

Wrong

With

"Farther and Farther: Chapter 4 Saying Goodbye" by MistWrites

Spoilers!

(duh...)

"Sky? Sky!" Blood splattered against the wall and the scream stopped abruptly. "You know, I didn't WANT to kill you." Sky smirked, eyes glowing brightly.

**If you didn't want to kill him then why the fuck did you kill him? (1)**

"Yo...You can't do this... We're friends..." Martin was pressed against the wall, shaking. His white wings were splattered with blood, not his own though.

**Wait, then who's blood is it? Theres blood everywhere and shit and it's neither of theirs?! Who the fuck is it's then? (1)**

"But Bodil! Friends don't ignore friends!" Sky opened his dark bat-like wings, "Anyways, I need Angel wings for my collection!"

**Wait, you're killing this guy cause he ignored you? You didn't even talk it out like normal supernatural beings? Wow, you're a douche. And why would you kill your friend for his wings if you said you didn't want to kill him? (2)**

Sky grabbed ing of Martin's wings and twisted it.

**Why is there an ing? (1)**

"Sky... Please..." Martin cried out in pain. Sky smiled, "Your pleading won't get you anywhere!"

**Actually by pleading I got a puppy (1)**

Martin felt tears running down his cheeks and blood stained the back of his shirt, right where his wings attached to his body. "Goodbye!" Sky called and Martin blacked out, wing torn off.

**Sky better but buffalo sauce on that wing or take the other one. Because he said he wanted both, so why just leave the one? He'd even more of an asshole and I do not feel pity or sorrow for any of these characters. (2)**

Sky had dropped the wing when it came off and went to another cage upon hearing a cry of sadness.

**So he's just gonna leave** **Martin there to bleed? He's even more of an** **asshole! (1)**

"And Jason, I hope you're happy. I loved you and you betrayed me for HIM." Sky pointed to the body of Ty, blood staining the ground around him.

**Woah, hold up. Jason LOVED Sky? But then he left him for another boy? Wow, there's no the author ships Truelox, SkyMU, Merome, but doesn't ship Skylox. I'm counting this as a sin because scene doesn't contain smut. (1)**

Jason backed up, "Adam, you don't have to do this! Please don't do this..."

**Yeah Sky, you don't have to** **kill me because I had an affair. (1)**

Jason looked straight into his eyes. "You could've been like me, but you had to fall for him."

**What? Murderous and a supernatural being? Actually, I'm kinda with Jason on this one. I mean, what if Jason didn't want to be like you? (1)**

Sky turned away. "I don't WANT to be like you! Killing your friends? I won't do that!"

**I'm counting this as a sin because Jason stole those words from me. (1)**

Sky froze, turning towards Jason. His eyes almost returned to normal and his expression turned from anger to fear.

**So it takes the words of the love who cheated on you to change you? Um, shouldn't there be a true love's kiss then? (1)**

"What... What have I done?" He ran away, tears of blood streaming down his cheeks.

**So you are a vampire! (1)**

"Martin, maybe I can save you..." Jason walked towards the Angel, "Martin, can you here me?"

**How is Jason, a mortal, going to heal a fucking angel? He doesn't have magical powers...right? Also that 'hear' is spelt wrong. (2)**

Jason shook him gently after putting a messy bandage around his chest.

**Why on his chest? Why not on the bleeding apendage where is wing is? Or was? (1)**

"Jason? Where is he?" Martin opened his eyes, "Can I fly?"

**Woah, you're asking to many questions dude. (1)**

Jason shook his head, "No. He took that..." Martin rubbed his eyes, "So I have one wing..."

**So you should probably chop the other one off. Or can wings grow back? Are they like antlers on a deer? Can they fall off and grow back? Can they heal themselves? Can they pass this skill onto baby wings? I guess we'll never know. (1)**

**Sin Count: 20**

**Sentence: You can have one with out the other. (Wings that is)**

**Like Minecraft Sins? Give it a follow and favorite and drop a review! If you'd like to suggest a fanfiction or use your own fanfiction, PM or tell me in the review box!**

**(This is all for humor! Don't take it too seriously!)**


End file.
